Things Change. If you are involved in a relationship or an encounter where the other person excites and/or is excited by you....and then something in the relationship or encounter 'flips' -- such that there is a 'break in empathy' (Kohut) -- and the excitement goes out of the relationship or encounter like air swooshing out of a balloon -- effectively ending the 'relationship honeymoon period' -- well, this could be one or both participants being jolted back to reality in a greater or lesser crushing way -- and/or it could be an example of what Psychoanalysts call a 'negative transference', which is sometimes a little different when 'spun (interpreted) by me'. '
Negative conscious early memory-encounter transferences' are often the chief culprit -- which can also stand in as a clear symbolic metaphor for another memory-encounter transference (this is what Freud meant by 'screen memories' back in 1899 as first alluded to in 1896) and/or a negative relationship transference, either of which are sitting inside one or both person's respective minds and referred to by 'The Psychoanalytic Object Relationists as 'Internal Objects' (meaning usually either a person or one particular character trait in a person). The 'Internal Object' then which is usually an 'internalized or introjected' early childhood person -- or a particular trait of that person -- and can be broken down into either our 'Internal Exciting Object' and/or our 'Internal Rejecting Object' (Fairbairn) becomes our 'red projective danger flag' or our 'internal air-raid siren -- warning us of danger', danger', danger'....
Unless this 'negative projective transference situation' that has superimposed itself associatively onto our 'here-and-now, immediacy encounter situation'....
Is contactfully addressed....(by a therapist or one or both of the two participants...)...
Well...things change....
And the honeymoon/party....
Is likely over....
-- dgb, June 12, 2012...
-- David Gordon Bain....
