1. Transference is very obsessive-compulsive and a life-long process, often going through different evolutions with different relationships. Most of this is on a subconscious level. We never know where the next transference evolution is going to take us in whatever new relationship we happen into. But the subconscious usually takes us to where it/we feel the greatest need. Awareness does not always make a difference because there is such a perceived need to go where we are going anyway -- despite any conscious 'Apollonian' objections.
2. Immediacy and contact still play a big part in any relationship, probably the most important part. You get into too much 'transference analysis' and you can paralyze the relationship you are in. Paralysis by analysis.
3. Similarily with such relationship factors as trust, respect, caring, empathy, assertiveness, excitement....these too remain essential to any long-lasting, successful relationship.
4. But intertwined into the immediacy and the contact of any relationship is the hugely important transference complex and whatever it may be with each person in the same relationship, and each person in each different relationship....
5. And here 'the rejecting person' is often the 'exciting person'....perhaps re-awakening negative childhood memories that we subconsciously and symbolically want to 'fix'...and this can take us back to issues of perceived abandonment, betrayal, being controlled, distancing, bad tempers, alcholism, drugs, and/or whatever the perceived imperfections of our childhood may have been -- 'Father-Complexes', 'Mother-Complexes', 'Sibling-Complexes', 'Stranger-Complexes', 'Relationship-Complexes', 'One Time Memory-Encounter Complexes'....
6. Transferences tend to revolve around 'core nuclear childhood conflicts' and our adult relationships tend to 're-awaken' these conflicts to either 'repeat them' or 'work through' them. Our adult relationships hinge on the success or failure of this enterprise.
-- dgb, Feb. 16th, 2009.
-- David Gordon Bain
